Is It Time for a Self-Care Reset?
By Jacqui Byrne
You can’t pour from an empty cup—especially when you’re raising a twice-exceptional child. Here’s how a self-care reset can help both you and your 2e child thrive this year.
For many parents of twice-exceptional (2e) kids, the start of a new year can feel less like a clean slate than a continuation of the same challenges: juggling appointments, managing homework battles and school struggles, plus trying to meet everyone’s needs—often at the expense of your own.
You can’t pour from an empty cup—especially when you’re raising a twice-exceptional child. Here’s how a self-care reset can help both you and your 2e child thrive this year.
For many parents of twice-exceptional (2e) kids, the start of a new year can feel less like a clean slate than a continuation of the same challenges: juggling appointments, managing homework battles and school struggles, plus trying to meet everyone’s needs—often at the expense of your own.
I’ve been there. Many days I am still there — but I’m learning. At times I think self-care is a luxury I can’t afford. I grasp at some free time, then feel guilty and wonder if I will ever be able to restart if I take a break. But I’ve come to realize that when I’m running on empty, I’m not just struggling to help my 2e kids—I’m modeling burnout for them. I’m also modeling an unhealthy way to work for the amazing team around me at FlexSchool.
One year ago this January, I signed up for a pottery class when I saw a social media post; I didn’t think, I just clicked. That is always how social media gets you, right? I never would have taken the class had I stopped to think. Several extraordinary changes in my life have resulted from this class. First, I love how earthy, messy, and satisfying it is to play in the mud. Second, I am expressing my creativity in a way I haven’t since I took a pottery class when I was about nine. I loved it then and I love it now. Third, my mind is quiet when I am in class or working on something at home. Pottery has created a nurturing, peaceful space for me.
Now, I have ideas more often at work, because I take the time to let my brain rest. I can be more present when I’m talking to my kids about one of their more obscure interests because I can carve on clay while I listen. Yes, my kids call pots “fidgets” now. Funny but true.
Self-care isn’t just about recharging. It’s about discovering tools and practices that help us stay engaged and resilient, even in the hardest moments. Even 15 minutes with my hands on clay is enough to help me move forward with my day. Pottery doesn’t take me out of my life, it gives me more of my life.
That’s why this January, I’m inviting you to join me in a self-care reset—not as another thing on your to-do list, but as a way to create a healthier, more sustainable life for you in the year ahead.
Here are three ways to reset and recharge, for both you and your 2e child:
1. Reimagine What Self-Care Looks Like
For 2e families, traditional self-care advice—like a spa day that feels impossible to carve out — may never feel like a fit for your reality. But self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant to be effective.
For parents: Think small but meaningful. Consider creating a pleasurable auditory buffer between you and stressful situations by playing relaxing music in your earbuds on low volume as you go about your day. Stealing a few moments for deep breathing in the car before pickup, taking a short walk after dinner, or even the simple act of saying “no” to one extra obligation can help restore a feeling of control and balance.
For kids: Help your child discover what soothes and recharges them, whether it’s building with Legos, doodling, or simply having downtime, free from expectations. Teaching them to listen to their own needs is a gift they’ll carry for life.
2. Build Self-Care into Your Routine
New habits are easier to stick to when they’re part of your daily rhythm. Look for opportunities to weave self-care into the structure of your day.
Try pairing self-care with something you already do. Listen to a favorite podcast while folding laundry, or journal for five minutes while waiting for your morning coffee to brew. Or maybe it’s carving out just 30 minutes a week for a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, like I did with pottery. Letting yourself try—and enjoy—something creative can be a powerful act of self-care.
The same can work for your 2e kid; let them curl up in a weighted blanket and hold the cat in their lap while practicing their math facts or doing their daily reading.
The key is to make self-care a natural part of life—not another task to tackle.
And, if you schedule this time every day, you and your child will look forward to those peaceful blocks of time and relax, knowing each of you will get some time to recharge each day.
3. Focus on Connection Over Perfection
In the rush to manage everything, it’s easy to forget that connection is a form of self-care, too. Taking time to simply be with your child—without an agenda—can recharge both of you.
Set aside a few moments each week to do something you both enjoy, whether it’s playing a game, baking cookies, or just cuddling on the couch. This time isn’t about solving problems or achieving goals—it’s about fostering joy and togetherness.
Why Self-Care Matters for 2e Families
When we prioritize self-care, we model resilience, self-compassion, and the importance of boundaries—all critical skills for our 2e kids to learn. And when we help them embrace self-care, we’re equipping them with tools to navigate a world that can feel overwhelming at times.
When we prioritize self-care, we model resilience, self-compassion, and the importance of boundaries—all critical skills for our 2e kids to learn. And when we help them embrace self-care, we’re equipping them with tools to navigate a world that can feel overwhelming at times.
Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s an investment in your ability to show up for your child, and in their ability to grow into their best, truest selves.
This year, let’s trade survival mode for something better: a life where we care for ourselves as deeply as we care for our children. Or half as deeply. Baby steps!
For free tools and resources to improve your child’s learning environment, visit 2e 101: Support 2e at School.
To receive our latest posts, expert interviews and more, sign up to stay in touch!
Do you know someone who could benefit from learning more about 2e? Please invite them to visit the links below!
Jacqui Byrne is the visionary behind FlexSchool – a network of small schools specifically designed to engage and support the creative, quirky, asynchronous minds of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) students. An acknowledged expert and sought-after speaker on education, Jacqui is a member of the Bridges Graduate School Advisory Council and holds a degree from Yale University. She is also the parent of twice-exceptional kids.
