Three Reasons Your Executive Functioning Supports Aren’t Working—and How to Fix Them
It’s not about more support—it’s about the right support.
-- By Jacqui Byrne
As parents and educators of twice-exceptional (2e) students, we’re always looking for ways to set our kids up for success. One of the biggest areas that 2e students struggle with is executive functioning—the set of mental skills that helps us plan, organize, manage time, and follow through on tasks. So we provide accommodations, buy planners and timers, and offer reminders (so many reminders). And yet, sometimes it feels like no matter how much support we provide, our kids still struggle.
As parents and educators of twice-exceptional (2e) students, we’re always looking for ways to set our kids up for success. One of the biggest areas that 2e students struggle with is executive functioning—the set of mental skills that helps us plan, organize, manage time, and follow through on tasks. So we provide accommodations, buy planners and timers, and offer reminders (so many reminders). And yet, sometimes it feels like no matter how much support we provide, our kids still struggle.
So, what’s going on? Why do even well-meaning supports often fail to help?
I recently had an “aha” moment about this in my own life. A calendar notification alerted me that I needed to join a Zoom meeting in ten minutes. I thought, “Perfect—just enough time to check my email before we start.” But—big surprise—I lost track of time and showed up late.
Later, a friend heard me complaining about this and said, “Why didn’t you just sign into Zoom first and stay hidden while you checked your email? Zoom alerts you when the other person enters the room.”
It may seem obvious, but that solution wasn’t intuitive to me. It wasn’t just about needing more time or better tools. I needed someone to help me figure out where I was getting stuck and why my current strategy wasn’t working. In this case, I had misdiagnosed my own problem—and as a result, I was relying on the wrong tool (my calendar alert), at the wrong time (ten minutes too early).
This same type of imprecision could be the culprit if your child’s accommodations aren’t working. Here are three common reasons executive functioning supports may fall short—and what to do instead:
1. They don’t address the real problem.
When kids struggle with executive functioning, it’s easy to focus on the what of their challenges—missed deadlines, incomplete homework, or last-minute panic. But until we uncover the why, it’s hard to make meaningful progress.
For example, a child might miss deadlines because:
- They have so many ideas they don’t know where to start.
- They get halfway through a project and feel stuck because they skipped outlining.
- They rely on the adrenaline of a looming deadline to get started but miscalculate how much time they’ll need to finish.
Each of these scenarios requires a completely different kind of support, at a different step in the process. If we try to apply a blanket solution, such as an extension, without first identifying the actual barrier, it may not help—and could even exacerbate the problem.
What to do instead: Take the time to dig deeper and figure out where your child is getting stuck. Ask open-ended questions like, “What part felt hardest for you?” or “What happened when you sat down to start?”
2. They create more overwhelm.
Imagine giving a student extended time on a project, but their real issue is trouble getting started. In trying to help, we’ve made it worse—because unless we target the specific skill of task initiation, the project still feels just as overwhelming as before, but they are forced to endure that pressure for an even longer time.
Or consider a child who struggles to choose between multiple ideas. Suggesting they “just pick one” or offering a list of new options can lead to decision paralysis, increasing anxiety.
What to do instead: Focus on one small, specific barrier at a time. If they’re stuck picking an idea, help them weigh the pros and cons of their top two choices. If they tend to skip outlining, collaborate to create a visual roadmap for the first few steps. By targeting just one hurdle, you can help them build confidence and find a path forward, without adding to their stress.
3. They’re not personalized to individual strengths and interests.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for executive functioning struggles. What works for one child might not work for another—and what works one day might not work the next. That’s because 2e brains, especially those with ADHD, tend to thrive on personal buy-in, novelty, and strategies that match their unique needs and preferences.
For example, some kids might benefit from visual aids, like checklists or project timelines, while others prefer tech-based tools, like Goblin Tools, which uses AI to break tasks into manageable steps.
What to do instead: Tap into what lights the student up, and collaborate around that to create solutions they’re excited to try. Start small, experiment, and adapt based on what resonates with them. The key is to focus on strategies that make them feel confident in their ability to succeed—and to celebrate progress, no matter how incremental.
Executive functioning challenges aren’t about laziness—they’re about missing tools and strategies that align with how a 2e brain works. By uncovering the real barriers, offering targeted support, and working collaboratively with your child, you can help them build skills that stick.
It’s not about giving more help. It’s about giving the right help. And when you get that piece right, you’ll be amazed at how much your child can accomplish.
For free tools and resources to improve your child’s learning environment, visit 2e 101: Support 2e at School.
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Jacqui Byrne, FlexSchool Founder
Jacqui Byrne is the visionary behind FlexSchool – a network of small schools specifically designed to engage and support the creative, quirky, asynchronous minds of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) students. An acknowledged expert and sought-after speaker on education, Jacqui is a member of the Bridges Graduate School Advisory Council and holds a degree from Yale University. She is also the parent of twice-exceptional kids.
